Happy 1st Mother's Day!!!

As you all know (or don't know) Jonny & I experienced a miscarriage in December 2007. We had been trying to get pregnant for over 5 months and finally we were. However that dream was crushed the week before Christmas when I lost our child. No one can ever know the pain of losing a child until you go through it. I do not wish it on anyone! Even though our child was only weeks old he or she was still our child, our own! I did not know how we were going to get through it but I had faith that God would lead us through our sorrow and loss. He did and today we have a very happy and healthy 9 month old baby boy!!! And, I finally got to experience my 1st Mother's Day!!! What a joyous day it was and I got the most precious gift...Jonathan said Mama for the first time!!!

Here is a poem that I found when we lost our first child...and I still stand firm to it today!!

Thoughts on becoming a mother...

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are great mothers and love their children very much, I will love my child differently.

I will love different not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. I will notice everything about my child. I will marvel at my miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stand tall.

I will prevail. I will succeed. I will win.

In all of this I know I will love differently.
I am forever changed forever better because of this.
~Author Unknown~